Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
