after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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