Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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