No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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