I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
