cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
