you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
