Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
