batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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