great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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