Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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