she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
