I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
