idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
