Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
