# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
