planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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