standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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