YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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