Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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