I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Who died my cat blue again?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
