remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
