8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
