it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
