so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
