Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
