sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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