So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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