I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
