I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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