She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
