So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
