Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
