i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my sisters under your porch take her home
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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