.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
third nipple confirmed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
