Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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