I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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