I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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