so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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