Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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