my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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