I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
