Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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