Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
