Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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