And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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