oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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