Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
