Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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