Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
